Raven's Memories
by robin's clone
Summary: Raven remembers a lifetime of memories. Warning: This story has a pairing of the RobinRaven persuasion.


Disclaimer:I don't own anything except the plot. All characters etc.belong to people who are not me...

It seemed surreal. Everything was perfect. The weather, the clothes, or lack there of, the people. Everything.

Raven stretched her arms above her head and slowly opened her eyes. It had been _very_ good night. She turned her head slowly and looked at the clock it read 10:23 a.m. She'd gotten a little over five hours of sleep. She turned back towards the ceiling and sighed.

She started to get up, but found herself restrained by a hairy, muscular arm. That was wrapped around her waist. She let her eyes travel up the arm and to the face of the man sleeping next to her. She rested her eyes on the handsome man. _'When he's sleeping he hardly looks obsessive at all. He looks very peaceful. I won't wake him yet, he's been busy the last weeks and more importantly the last few hours.' _She thought with a sight smirk.

She allowed her mind to wander back to the first time she'd seen him. He hadn't even noticed that I was there. He'd been too busy beating the crap out of some dude who looked like a seriously warped clown, who threw exploding cards. He was with another man, who looked like a giant bat. I'd hidden in the shadows till they'd gone. It was that night when I decided to become a hero. I'd had on a crush on the boy; it wasn't until later that I learned that his name was Robin. I never thought that I would see him again, let alone work with him on the same team.

We'd become part of a group of five teenagers called the Teen Titans. First there was Starfire, she was 15 and an alien from a planet called Tameran. She could shoot star bolts from her hands, and as she'd gotten older was eventually able to shoot them from her eyes as well. Also she was super strong and she could fly. She was naïve and didn't speak English very well, but she was happy, had an obsession with mustard and always had a following of boys who worshipped her.

Then there was Beast Boy, he was the youngest at 13, he was also the least mature. As in one of those boys who thinks that being able to play music with your nose, should get you a multi-million dollar record deal and get you all the girls. He probably looked the strangest with his green hair and skin. Plus he was always the shortest. He could change into any animal that he wanted. He always cracked dumb jokes and never ate meat, something about it being cannibalism. He wasn't very intelligent and was often made the brunt of Cyborg's jokes.

Good old Cyborg. Half-man, half-machine. He was the older brother that I'd never had. Being the oldest at 17, you would've thought that he was more mature than most of the team but sadly no. Well, truthfully sometimes he acted years older than he was, but mostly he was just one big kid.

The most mature of our small group was Robin; he was also the leader of the group. Obsessive to point of madness, but arguably one of the world's greatest. He was an enigma wrapped in a shroud of mystery. Sometimes he could be so serious and focused then suddenly he would be joking around with Beast Boy and flirting with girls. He has been voted Jump City's Hottest Hero ever since we became a team, something that bothered Beast Boy to no end. And there's this one girl named Kitten who forced Robin into going to her prom with her, I can't think about that incident without shuddering. Robin was 16 the same age as I was when we started our group.

We had a sixth member for a brief period, but we don't really talk about it. Especially around Beast Boy, they'd sort of been an item. And let's just say things ended badly.

When we started we were clumsy and disorganized, we didn't know our own powers. We trained almost non-stop, using rundown warehouses and parks. After Jump City recognized us as an actual team and a benefit to the city they built us a home on an island, overlooking the city. It was called Titan's Tower and was shaped like a giant T. It was full of state of the art technology and multiple training rooms. It was also the sight of many battles. Where we met the H.I.V.E. and where an evil dragon escaped a book.

But the T-Tower as it was sometimes called was more than a headquarters or a place to crash. To me it was home. It was the first place that I could call home since my mother died. It was the only place that I allowed myself to be myself.

Whether it was singing in the shower or whistling as I was waiting for the water to boil for my tea.

Meanwhile the Teen Titans got older and when Cyborg turned 20, we dropped the 'Teen' part of our name and became known as just the Titans. We learned to work together like a well oiled machine. Our biggest adversary, Slade, hired different villains to, well, commit crimes. Slade was like the leader of the mafia in Jump City. At one point he forced Robin to become his apprentice. Robin finally escaped, but truthfully really only after Slade let him.

Robin became obsessed with Slade, it ate away at him. It got to the point where he became a danger not only to himself but to the rest of the team as well. Once he thought that he was fighting Slade. The rest of us couldn't see Slade, but to Robin he was real and he was hurting Robin. I had to go inside of Robin's mind to help Robin see that Slade wasn't there. After that Robin and I had a special bond.

Well, truthfully we already had a special bond. Robin was that only one I really allowed to get close. He seemed to understand me, better than the rest of the team. I can't even remember the number of times we would stay up late talking up on the roof. Or talk over his morning coffee and my tea.

We talked about everything books, TV, movies, life in general. We surprised each other in a lot of things. Like my secret love for action movies and smut novels. And his love of Skittles (but only the orange and yellow ones), and his fear of clowns.

We were close, but he was dating Starfire. I had a problem with that, remember my crush on him from before, well it had grown, to gigantic proportions. Basically my teenage crush had grown into love. Yes love. I had fallen in love, with my best friend. And did I mention that he was dating Starfire?

We continued to hang out but not as often or sometimes Starfire would be there too, which made it awkward and made me uncomfortable. It was like I was losing my best friend. I still loved him, but it was breaking my heart. Like someone had ripped my heart out and was stepping on it while wearing 4 inch Stiletto heels. It was like a plot from one of my beloved smut novels. You know that infamous cliché where I loved him so much that I was willing to give him up as long as he was happy. And it certainly seemed like he was happy.

But eventually they broke up. After that I did a little happy dance of joy in my room where no one could see me, it was shallow of me I know but I didn't care. Anyway, Starfire ended it, something about Robin not spending enough time with her. Starfire bounced back pretty quickly, faster than one should, when said person had claimed her undying love for Robin only the day before. Am I saying that Starfire is so shallow that if she were a puddle I probably wouldn't get my feet wet, well, maybe? She bounced back so fast because of one person and his name was Speedy. Speedy was Robin's clone only with red hair and he was less serious. Robin took their breakup pretty hard, for awhile he only came out of his room for missions. And he only ate because I would put food outside his door at meal times. I wrote him daily notes, which I would stuff under his door. I wrote him about everything and nothing, he never responded, and I was careful never to mention Starfire.

Then all of sudden one day, he just reappeared. Like nothing had happened, he just joined me for our usual morning beverages. He was a sight for sore eyes.

Soon things got back to normal. Well, as normal as things can be for a bunch of super heroes. That is until one night.

It was early fall, I was sitting in one of my favorite spots watching the sun go down. It was cool but not cold. And the sunset was beautiful, as usual. I felt rather than heard or saw Robin climb up onto the roof. He came over and sat down next to me. I looked over at him; he was wearing his Nightwing costume. I thought that he looked pretty darn good, but I didn't tell him that. He'd become Nightwing a couple of years ago, but to me he would always be Robin.

I looked at the sunset again before I could get caught staring at him. We sat in silence for awhile. Both of us lost in private thoughts.

I was tired, so after the sun went all the way down, I stood up and brushed off my butt. I turned to walk towards the door, after saying 'good night' to Robin. But to my surprise, before I had even gotten two steps, Robin grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go. We were like that for the span of a few minutes. Me standing looking down at him, enjoying the feel of his hand encircling my wrist, and him sitting there looking up at me. Usually I had to look up at him; he'd gotten a lot taller since we'd first met.

He tugged on my wrist forcing me back down to the ground. After staring at me for a few moments, he started rubbing the underside of my wrist with his thumb. He spoke carefully and slowly, as if unsure of himself. It was the first time I had ever seen him like this.

"Raven," he whispered.

I held my breath and waited for him to say something more.

"Raven," he repeated, then paused and said, "We need to talk."

"Talk about what?" I questioned, "We talk every morning, well except for the days when you oversleep."

He frowned at the last bit, "I do not oversleep, _ever_."

I just raised one eyebrow and continued to look at him.

"Okay, sometimes I do, but that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Well, then what did you want to talk about?"  
He paused. He swallowed. And generally just looked uncomfortable.

"Raven, we've been friends for awhile now. Good friends."

"Yeah." I frowned at him in a confused kind of way.

"We're the kind of friends where we can share anything with each other. Well there's something I've got to tell you." He stopped as if unsure how his news would be taken. I peered at his face.

Suddenly my mouth dropped open in horror, "You're not about to tell me that you're strangely attracted to Control Freak or Gizmo? That you have a fetish for midgets? If you need to share something like that, well, I know I'm your friend, but keep that kind of crap to yourself."

His head snapped up from where he was staring intently at some non-existent stain on his uniform. "No! It's nothing like that! All I wanted to tell you was that . . . I love you!" this last part was said in a near shout.

"What? What did you say?" I whispered I could barely get the words past my lips.

"I said." He paused and swallowed then repeated, "I said, 'that I love you.'"

I shook my head, "No that's impossible you can't love me. You love someone else like Starfire or Bumblebee. It's impossible. There's nothing about me that you could possibly love. Like perhaps or find amusing. But love, that's out of the question."

"Raven I love everything about you. Your smile, your wicked sense of humor, the fact that you like getting caught in the rain, the way your butt looks when you wear those jeans with the cat scratches." He smirked his infamous smirk at the last bit.

"No Robin, you only think that you love me. One day you'll wake up and be miserable because of some misinterpreted emotions. You only think that you love me because we get along so well."

Robin was angry now and he had let go of my wrist and was pacing back and forth, "Who are you to tell me of my feelings? When I was locked in my room after Star and I broke up it wasn't because I was missing her. No quite the opposite. I was in my room because I should have been miserable, but I wasn't, all I could think about was you. And I was scared because all I wanted was for you to care for me in return, but you never showed me any interest other than being only my friend. And at first, I was content with that." He paused stopping his pacing, and then he continued to speak after a shudder passed through him, "Raven, it's not enough anymore. I told myself that I would work to win your love. No matter how long it takes. Raven don't you understand, without you I will become a shell, I'll continue to breathe and function. But I won't ever be able to live."

My heart was beating an erratic tattoo against my chest. His words kept replaying themselves in my head. I could hardly believe that my fondest wish was coming true. _'Robin loves me.' _I realized, after he began to turn away from me, that Robin was waiting for me to break the silence. It was now or never. I had to gamble it all, by betting everything that I had in my corner. I forced the words past lips, that had suddenly become paralyzed.

"RobinIloveyou." I said in a rush.

He turned back towards me and asked, "What did you say?"

I took a deep breath, licked my lips and repeated what I had said, only this time a little bit slower. "Robin, I love you."

I stared entranced at the range of emotions that played on Robin's face. From disbelief to rapture. He clasped my upper arms and said, "Say it again. I need to hear the words again."

It was like a flood gate, after I said it once it was easy; I repeated it over and over. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

He pulled me closer and crushed his lips to my own. I reached my arms up around his neck. I felt like the heroine in a book, where she finally realizes her dream and the blood is singing in her veins. When we finally broke apart Robin rested his forehead on the top of my head.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"Are you sure, that you want to love a super hero?"

"Does Beast Boy only eat tofu?"

I smiled remembering, the events that followed, leading up to this moment. I sighed, a very contented sigh. Life was good.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grayson."

I turned my head and stared into a pair of smiling, green eyes, "Good morning, Mr. Grayson."

He reached over and kissed my hand. "What were you thinking about?"

"Not much I was only remembering."


End file.
